


Lent Isn't That Stuff You Find In Your Pocket

by fiddleyoumust



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: M/M, Orgasm Denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-31
Updated: 2010-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:26:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddleyoumust/pseuds/fiddleyoumust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon gives up sex for Lent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lent Isn't That Stuff You Find In Your Pocket

"Oh my god!" Ryan yelps as he walks into the back room.

Brendon freezes, because despite the fact that he's a rock star and he lives on a bus with a bunch of other dudes, this has actually never happened to him before. He's got his head between Spencer's legs, and Spencer's cock is in his mouth, and he's not really sure what the proper reaction to this particular situation should be.

Thankfully, Spencer handles it for him in the same manner he handles most things, by yelling. "Get the fuck out, Ryan!" he says, and Brendon relaxes when he hears the door close again.

Brendon pulls off of Spencer's cock and says, "Should I finish?"

Spencer is still glaring at the door, but he turns his eyes to Brendon's and says grumpily, "Well, it's not like they don't know what we're doing in here. We might as well enjoy it."

Brendon kind of wants to point out that Spencer's getting most of the enjoyment, since it's his dick getting sucked, but Brendon doesn't like to lie, so he just leans down and takes Spencer back into his mouth. They both moan together.

 

"So!" Ryan says brightly over breakfast the following morning. "I was thinking we should get a vacuum for the bus."

Jon laughs until Spencer kicks him hard in his shin under the table, and then he tries to cover it with a cough.

"Ryan," Spencer says warningly.

Brendon's barely awake. He's wrestling with a new bag of Trix, which is proving much more difficult to open than is reasonable or fair, so he's not really paying attention. "What do we need a vacuum for?" he asks.

Ryan says, "I think a Hoover would be good. I hear they can really suck."

Brendon finally catches on to Ryan's tone, and he looks up from the impossible cereal bag and takes in the scene around him. Spencer is glowering at Ryan. Jon is hiding his smile behind his hand while simultaneously pretending to find the consumer information on his Dr. Pepper a fascinating read. Ryan has this gleam in his eyes, like he's out for blood, and they're currently trained on Brendon.

"Shut the fuck up, Ryan," Spencer says, and Brendon would think it was sweet, Spencer sticking up for him, if he also didn't think that part of it was embarrassment at being caught last night.

Ryan has this reputation for being the biggest bitch in the band, and it's mostly deserved, but that doesn't mean Brendon's incapable of pulling out his claws when necessary. "Aw, don't be jealous, baby. If you wanted a turn, all you had to do was ask," Brendon says. He bats his eyelashes, and smiles when he sees Ryan's cheeks flood with color. Brendon turns to smile at Spencer, but Spencer doesn't look amused at all. In fact, he looks furious.

"What?" Brendon asks, legitimately confused.

Spencer bares his teeth and says, "Try being less of a slut."

Jon gives up and starts laughing again, but Brendon doesn't really think any of this is funny. "I'm not a slut!" he says.

Jon says, "You just offered to blow Ryan the morning after you got caught blowing Spencer. That's pretty slutty, dude."

"I was _joking_ ," Brendon says. Brendon is still looking at Spencer, but Spencer's not looking at him anymore, and Brendon's instantly annoyed, because Spencer _certainly_ wasn't complaining about his slutty nature last night. "You know what? The three of you can all go fuck yourselves, because this _slut_ is done with sex. I'm giving it up for Lent."

Jon snorts, and Ryan says, "You're not even Catholic, Brendon." Spencer just gets up and walks away from the table without saying a word.

 

Being abstinent is surprisingly easy when the person you're having sex with isn't speaking to you.

"So this whole thing," Jon says plopping down on the couch next to Brendon. "What constitutes sex?"

Brendon pauses his video game and says, "What?"

"Sex," Jon says. "Are you like... no penetration? Is oral okay? Masturbation? Like I think we need rules."

Brendon wrinkles his brow and bites thoughtfully on his bottom lip. "Well... I mean I was thinking sex acts in all forms would be off limits."

"So no orgasms?" Jon asks.

"Yeah," Brendon says. "Orgasms are bad... or well, no. They're good. They're just off limits until the end of Lent."

"Okay, so that's another problem. Lent was in February and March, dude," Jon says.

Brendon says, "Oh."

"So I was thinking you could just do it for forty days. Or well, _not_ do it as it were. It'll be like that movie with Josh Hartnett, except you're not as tall, and Spencer's not as hot as that Shannon Sossawhatever."

Brendon wants to argue, because Spencer is totally hotter than that Shannon girl, but he's still mad at Spencer, so he just nods his agreement. "Yeah. I can totally make it forty days."

Jon says, "You threw down the gauntlet May 4th, so that means you'd have to make it to June 12th, just in time for Vegas. Which is, you know, awesome. Plus, it's not like you know anything about the actual religious aspects of it anyway."

Brendon nods again, because that is totally true. Brendon knows as much about being Catholic as Jon knows about being Mormon.

Jon smiles brightly, seemingly satisfied, and then asks, "What about kissing? Is kissing going to be allowed?"

Brendon thinks about it and says, "I guess kissing is okay, but I don't know why anyone would want to kiss if they weren't allowed to move past the kiss. You know?"

Jon nods his agreement. "Now going back to the orgasm thing, does that mean for you or for sex partners? Because I don't think you should be disqualified if like... you randomly cause someone to spontaneously orgasm from your sheer existence," Jon says.

Brendon snorts and then sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and actually thinks about it, because Brendon's pretty fucking hot. There's a possibility, even if it's slight, that spontaneous orgasm could happen. "Um, I think I'll just be responsible for my own orgasms," Brendon says.

Jon nods and then says, "What about..."

"Hey!" Brendon says suddenly suspicious. "What do you mean _disqualified_?"

Jon's goes all gooey-eyed, and he puts on his best innocent face which honestly isn't as good as he believes it is. "I'm being a concerned friend. I want you to reach your goals, dude," Jon says.

Brendon sighs and says, "You're starting a pool, aren't you?"

Jon says, "I have faith in you, so I'm putting my name down for June 12th . I truly believe you're capable of..."

"I hate you," Brendon says as he starts his game back up.

 

Five days after their fight, Spencer says, "Hey. So I'm sorry."

Brendon looks up from the magazine he's reading, blinks a couple of times and says, "Okay, sure. For what though?" It's not like Brendon doesn't know, but Spencer has this way of half-ass apologizing for being an asshole while somehow still avoiding the whole part where he has to talk about his feelings. Usually Brendon lets him get away with it, because Brendon is sort of pathetically easy where Spencer is concerned. This time around, Brendon isn't really feeling magnanimous. If Spencer is going to apologize, Brendon is going to make him do it right.

"For the other day?" Spencer says warily.

Brendon has to bite his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling. It's probably wrong that making Spencer uneasy is amusing, but Brendon has to get his kicks somewhere, especially now that he can't do other amusing things with Spencer.

"Oh, you mean the other day when you called me a slut? Is that what you're saying you're sorry for?" Brendon asks. He makes his tone purposely bored, and flips a page on his magazine even though he didn't actually read anything on the previous one.

Spencer's quiet for a few seconds before his voice carries over the space between them, barely a whisper between Spencer's clenched jaw. "Yeah. I'm sorry for calling you a slut," Spencer says.

"Mm," Brendon hums like he's agreeing with something. "That is a pretty shitty thing to say to a friend."

Spencer doesn't look very contrite anymore. In fact, he looks like he'd kind of like to kill Brendon, or at the very least, call him a slut again. Brendon just smiles and continues, "Maybe if you dig down deep and try to figure out _why_ you called me a slut, that would help you to not do it again."

Spencer crosses his arms and stares for a second and says, "You know what? Never mind, I'm not sorry after all."

Brendon's stomach twists, but he can be just as stubborn as Spencer. "Okay," Brendon says, trying to sound nonchalant. He goes back to his magazine and stares hard until his vision blurs at the edges. He can feel Spencer still looking at him, and he wills himself not to cry like a stupid fucking baby until _after_ Spencer leaves. Spencer finally makes a frustrated noise and storms out of the room. Brendon sighs in relief.

 

Spencer asks for the milk for his Cocoa Puffs a few days later, and before Ryan can reach for it, Brendon snatches it up and pours the rest of it into his glass. "We're all out," Brendon says.

"You're a real dick," Spencer says.

Brendon smiles around his soggy bite of cereal and says, "Maybe there's another half gallon in the fridge."

Ryan glares at Brendon and says, "I think the person that took the last of it should go get the new one."

Brendon shrugs and shakes his head. "That's probably not a good idea. You all know how I can't control myself. I might get over there and accidentally fuck it or something."

Jon snorts and bumps his shoulder against Brendon's. "Good one," he says. Ryan turns his glare on Jon, and then Jon gets busy trying to look contrite.

"Okay," Ryan says sarcastically. "This is getting fucking ridiculous. Spencer's sorry he called you a slut. He didn't mean it. I'm sorry for making jokes about your sexual activities, and Jon is sorry for taking bets on how quickly you'll get back to doing said activities. Everyone is sorry, okay? Now please go get some god damn milk."

Ryan and Spencer have this weird thing where they speak for each other all the time. It never really bothered Brendon until he and Spencer started sleeping together, and then it started to get on his nerves. It's frustrating for Brendon to know Spencer's body intimately and then turn around and realize he's never going to know what's going on in Spencer's head. At least not the way Ryan does.

"If Spencer's going to have you apologize for him, he can have you get his milk, too," Brendon says.

"Brendon," Jon says, and he doesn't sound amused anymore. Brendon can hear the warning in his voice. Jon is obviously on the verge of mediating when Ryan says, "Fuck this," and grabs for Brendon's glass. Brendon reaches his hand out instinctively and it collides against the glass, knocking it over on to the table.

"God damn it!" Ryan shouts as he jumps up, trying to avoid the run off. His pants get soaked anyway, and there is milk running off the side of the table onto the floor. Brendon takes in the scene and then does the exact thing he shouldn't do. He laughs.

He knows it's a mistake before it happens, but he can't seem to keep the giggle from bubbling up out of his throat. Ryan's face goes from furious to murderous, and Brendon's survival instinct suddenly kicks in.

He only manages to make it up out of his chair before Ryan is on him, knocking him to the floor. They both go down hard in a pile of sharp elbows and skinny legs. Ryan's lips are curled back, and he's screaming something, but Brendon kind of knocked his head on the floor pretty hard when he hit, and his ears are ringing, so whatever Ryan is yelling, Brendon can't hear it.

Ryan is skinny, but Brendon is tiny. He really can't breathe very well with Ryan on top of him, so he does the only thing he can think of: he turns his head and bites hard into Ryan's forearm. This time, he can hear Ryan scream.

"You little fuck," Ryan shouts, and Brendon can see his hand coming down, arcing between their bodies. He closes his eyes and braces for the hit, but it never comes. He opens his eyes when he feels Ryan struggling against him, and Jon and Spencer are suddenly there, pulling Ryan off.

Jon holds Ryan around the waist, and after a few seconds he stops squirming and settles on glaring daggers at Brendon instead. Spencer walks over and holds his hand out. Brendon can't read his expression, but he knows for sure that whatever emotion is going on inside of Spencer, it isn't the one Brendon wants.

"I don't need help," Brendon says, and he puts his hands to the floor to push himself up.

Spencer makes a frustrated noise, leans over, and wraps his hands around Brendon's arms. He pulls hard, and Brendon comes up off the floor, flailing his legs a little until he realizes he's probably going to send them both crashing back down if he doesn't quit. Spencer's much bigger and heavier than Ryan, and Brendon doesn't really fancy being squashed again. He puts his feet down and lets Spencer pull him up.

As soon as he has his balance he tries to wrench his arms free, but Spencer has a good hold and a stubborn look on his face.

"Enough," Spencer says quietly.

Brendon glares, and Spencer shakes his head and lets go of Brendon's arm, only to reach out again and grab Brendon's hand.

"We need to talk," Spencer says, and he walks toward the bunk area with Brendon's hand still firmly clasped in his. Brendon figures he has two choices: bite someone for the second time in ten minutes, or follow. He follows.

 

Spencer shoves Brendon into his bunk and then climbs in behind him. Brendon sits Indian style and crosses his arms over his chest, and Spencer faces him, reaching up to close the curtain.

"You look like the genie from Aladdin," Spencer says.

Brendon frowns and says, "Quit trying to soften me up with Disney. I'm really pissed at you."

Spencer takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "I got jealous," he says.

Brendon waits for Spencer to open his eyes. The silence stretches out, and when it becomes clear that Spencer isn't going to, Brendon says, "You don't have any reason to be."

Spencer opens his eyes then. "I just... didn't like what you said to Ryan."

Brendon rolls his eyes. "I was joking, Spencer."

"I still didn't like it," Spencer says quietly.

Brendon sighs, frustrated. "Look, I'm not going to quit being me just because you have some dumb jealous streak. It's kind of insulting to both me and Ryan. Neither of us would do that to you. _I_ wouldn't do that to you."

Spencer looks away guiltily. "We never really..." Spencer flaps his hands back and forth between them. "What are we doing here exactly?"

Brendon says, "I don't really know, but whatever it is, I'm not doing it with anyone else. In fact, until June 12th, I'm not even doing it with you, so you can drop the psycho, jealous boyfriend routine."

Spencer smiles then and leans forward a few inches until their mouths are almost touching. "You said boyfriend," Spencer says.

Spencer's eyes are really blue and shiny, and Spencer's mouth is tipped up at the corners, and in the time it takes for Brendon to blink his eyes, he's suddenly very, very turned on.

"We're not doing this," Brendon whispers. "I made a pact."

"Jon said kissing wasn't against the rules," Spencer whispers back.

Brendon says, "Spencer," and he means it as an admonishment, but he doesn't stop Spencer when he leans in the final inch and puts their mouths together.

Brendon lets Spencer control the kiss. Spencer puts his hands on either side of Brendon's face and leans in more until their knees are bumping together uncomfortably. Spencer tries to get up on his knees without breaking their mouths apart, and Brendon groans against Spencer's lips, before he rips his mouth away and puts his hands shakily against Spencer's chest.

"We can't," Brendon says.

Spencer groans and says, "Jon said kissing was okay."

Brendon smiles fondly at Spencer. "When have we ever stopped at kissing?"

Spencer says, "You have a point."

 

Nine days later, Brendon realizes he's got a problem.

"I have a problem," he says, plopping down on the couch next to Jon.

Jon puts his guitar down on the floor and gives Brendon his full attention. Which really isn't saying much, since Jon's pupils are dilated, and he's got that stupid smile on his face that tells Brendon he's higher than a kite.

"Lay it on me, dude," Jon says.

Brendon bites nervously into the nail on his pointer finger and says, "I'm having sex dreams about Spencer."

Jon sort of chokes and laughs at the same time and once he's pulled it together says, "Well, that's okay, right? I mean you two are... you know."

"Fucking?" Brendon says amusedly, because _seriously_ , are they in junior high again? If all of them are doing it, (and Brendon knows for a fact Jon is, since he stayed with Jon and Cassie for a week last summer and Jon's apartment has thin walls), then they can certainly say it.

Jon blushes, which is actually kind of cute. "Dude, you get all embarrassed when you're high," Brendon says.

Jon bites on his bottom lip and tries to look stern. "I thought you had a problem? Something about Spencer and sex dreams?" Jon says, effectively getting the conversation back on track.

"Well, yeah," Brendon says. "They're sex dreams right _now_. But if this morning's wood is any indication they're going to be wet dreams really soon. I know we said we weren't holding spontaneous orgasm against me, but I wasn't sure that was still the case if they're my own spontaneous orgasms."

Jon blinks a couple of times and then says, "Sometimes I wonder how this became my life."

Brendon sighs and says, "Tell me about it."

They decide on the honor system. If Brendon wakes up and the deed has already been done, there's no sense in being punished for it.

"But you can't help it along," Jon says. "No touching your junk."

Brendon says, "Okay. Deal."

Brendon gets up to leave, but he pauses for a second in the doorway and says, "I don't need to do that whole thing where I tell you this conversation never happened, right?"

Jon strums a couple of strings on his guitar and says, "What conversation?"

Brendon nods and heads back to the bunks.

 

Three days after that, Spencer tackles Brendon in the back lounge.

It's Brendon's automatic reaction to open his legs and his mouth when Spencer comes on to him. It's a little embarrassing and probably a whole lot pathetic, but whatever, Spencer's fucking hot. Brendon can't help that his body betrays his brain and gets all slutty whenever Spencer comes around.

That's how Brendon finds himself making out with Spencer on the couch. Spencer has him pinned, their hips lined up together so that Brendon can feel Spencer's cock through their jeans. Spencer sucks Brendon's bottom lip into his mouth and Brendon feels the pull in his stomach, too, hot and liquid. He thrusts his hips up and moans against Spencer's tongue.

Spencer's hand moves between them to Brendon's belt buckle, and that gets Brendon thinking again. Undoing his belt will lead to his pants coming off, which will probably lead to Spencer's pants coming off, which will most definitely lead to sex and orgasms.

"Stop. Spencer, stop," Brendon says. His voice sounds shredded and raw and foreign in his ears, so he puts his hand on Spencer's arm too, and tries to still Spencer's movements. Spencer looks up, and Brendon has to suck in a breath and hold it to keep himself from coming right then and there. Spencer's chest is heaving as he draws in harsh breaths, and his eyes are completely blown, dark black with just a thin ring of blue along the edges.

"We can't," Brendon says desperately. He reaches up to touch Spencer's cheek, wanting to soothe, but Spencer jumps up like Brendon's touch might burn him.

"Don't touch me," Spencer says harshly. He's shaking now, and Brendon wants to say, _fuck it_ , and just let Spencer jump him again, just let Spencer do whatever he wants.

He can't though. He _can't_.

He can't explain why it's so important for him to see this thing through, but it is. Brendon knows he's always saying stupid shit that no one really pays attention to, and he wants the things that come out of his mouth to mean something. He wants people to stop what they're doing and pay attention when he talks, to weigh the words and have them be important the way they are for Ryan or Jon or Spencer. He thinks if he can just do this one thing right, maybe it'll change all the other things. Maybe it will matter.

Of course, Brendon hadn't meant for this to be a punishment for Spencer, too. He hadn't meant for it to be a punishment for anyone really, just a challenge of his will, and it hurts him that he's hurting Spencer. Or at least that he's making Spencer uncomfortable.

Brendon says, "You could... I wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to find someone to..."

Spencer glares fiercely. "Don't be fucking stupid," he says. "I can wait. I just... I know I jumped you first, but if we're seriously not doing this, you can't touch me. I need a Brendon-free bubble."

Brendon smiles and says, "Okay. Consider yourself a Brendon-free zone."

Spencer cocks his eyebrow like he doesn't quite believe that Brendon is capable of granting anyone that much personal space, which yeah, that's maybe true, but Brendon is totally going to _try_. Spencer comes back over to the couch, anyway, and sits down on the other end with two cushions between them.

Brendon can see that Spencer is still hard, and okay, he can't actually touch Spencer, but that doesn't mean he can't help.

"I want to try something," Brendon says, and Spencer looks up inquisitively. "If I tell you what to do... how to touch yourself, will you do it?"

Spencer gives Brendon an amused look and says, "You're really terrible at dirty talk."

Brendon sticks his bottom lip out in a pout and says, "I'm not that bad."

Spencer says, "Ride that dick, baby," and then bites his bottom lip to keep himself from laughing.

"Oh, fuck you," Brendon says. "That was a scandalous lie. I am the best dirty talker, Spencer Smith. Just you wait and see."

Spencer lets his lip go, lets his smile slide slowly off his face. "Okay," he says swallowing hard. "You tell me what to do and I'll do it. Like Simon Says, but sexier."

Brendon suddenly feels pressured and panicked. He wonders if he can really do this, and then he remembers that it's Spencer, and Spencer is pretty much the hottest thing he's ever had in his bed. Spencer turns him on just by existing and so yeah -- watching Spencer touch himself where Brendon tells him to touch himself until he comes -- yeah, Brendon can totally do this.

"Lean back against the cushions," Brendon says.

Spencer leans backward and his legs fall open in an automatic sprawl. He's looking right at Brendon, and Brendon wants to look away. He can feel his cheeks heating up a little, but he's doing this. He wants to do this. He wants to watch Spencer shake and come apart with Brendon's name on his lips.

"Wait," Brendon says. "Sit back up."

Spencer smiles and rolls his eyes and says, "I told you you're terrible at this."

Brendon says, "Don't talk," and his voice is hard, low and serious. Spencer raises an eyebrow and doesn't say anything else. "Take your shirt off," Brendon says.

Spencer pulls his t-shirt over his head, slowly revealing the creamy expanse of his stomach. Once he has the shirt off, he drops it to the floor and waits for Brendon to tell him what to do next.

"Lean back again," Brendon says, his voice barley above a whisper. He clears his throat, and licks his bottom lip, and watches Spencer's eyes follow the path of his tongue before he continues. "If I could touch you right now, I'd lick the freckles on your shoulders. I'd kiss my way down your chest and lick your nipples until I had you begging me to stop. Then I'd move on to your cock. I think I'd let you fuck my mouth. I think you would like that, me on my knees with your hands in my hair."

Spencer groans and closes his eyes, and Brendon watches, fascinated, as Spencer thrusts his hips up, trying to get friction against his neglected cock.

"Spencer," Brendon says. Spencer's eyes snap back open, hazy and unfocused. "Yeah, you would _definitely_ like that," Brendon says quietly, almost to himself.

Spencer shivers and clenches his fists into the couch cushions. "I'll let you when this is over. In Vegas in twenty days I'll let you do whatever you want to me," Brendon says. "But right now? I want you to unzip your pants for me."

Spencer's hands are shaking when he lets go of the couch and reaches for the fly of his jeans. He hisses when he slides the zipper down slowly.

"Lift your hips and get your pants around your thighs," Brendon says before he takes a few seconds to count to ten.

He can feel his own cock hard and aching and pressed against his jeans, and he just needs a second to calm down, to focus on what he's supposed to be doing. When he looks up again Spencer is waiting for him, his cock flushed dark red and leaking against his stomach. Spencer's hands are at his sides clenched into fists, his bottom lips held firmly between his teeth while he breathes heavily through his nose. He's practically hyperventilating, and that's when Brendon realizes he is, too, both their chests rising and falling in tandem.

"Lick your palm," Brendon says, and Spencer picks his hand up and licks wetly across his right palm over and over again, his eyes never leaving Brendon's.

Brendon gets a little lost watching him before he remembers that he's in charge, that Spencer doesn't know what to do next because Brendon hasn't told him.

Brendon says, "Run your thumb across the slit of your cock," and Spencer does, letting out a small whimper. "I wish I could taste you. I want to taste you so badly," Brendon says, and Spencer's always been a fast learner. He's always know what Brendon wants before Brendon even knows how to ask for it. It's Brendon's turn to whimper when Spencer licks his own precome off his thumb.

"Oh, fuck," Brendon says. "Holy shit."

Spencer smiles and sucks his thumb into his mouth enthusiastically and then licks his palm again twice more before he settles back to wait.

"Wrap your fist around your cock," Brendon says. He doesn't even recognize his own voice anymore, but Spencer follows his directions anyway. "Loosely," Brendon whispers. "Work your hand slow and loose."

Spencer groans, pathetic and needy, but his fist loosens as he works his hand over his shaft, twisting over the head on the upstroke. Spencer's hips start coming up off the couch as he tries to get more friction, but his fist never tightens on his cock.

"You're doing so good," Brendon says. Spencer's entire body looks strung tight, the muscles in his arms and stomach and wrist all straining under his skin.

Brendon's entire body feels like it's on fire, and he thinks he might explode before all of this is finished, but he's determined to hold on long enough to get Spencer through this, to make it good for him.

"Spencer," Brendon says. Spencer looks completely wrecked. His eyes are wild, and Brendon doesn't think Spencer's even seeing Brendon anymore, but Brendon knows he's still listening, still waiting. "Do you want to come?" Brendon asks.

Spencer bites his lip and fucks up into his hand desperately, his grip still too loose to really give him any kind of satisfaction. Brendon suddenly wants to hear Spencer's voice again. He hasn't spoken since Brendon told him not to, and he thinks he'll go crazy if he doesn't hear him now. "Talk to me," Brendon says suddenly. "Beg me to let you come."

Spencer doesn't hesitate, just starts begging, like he been waiting to talk as long as he's been waiting to come. "Please, _please_ ," he says. There are tears at the corners of his eyes and Brendon can see that his neck muscles are pulled taut, the veins pulsing visibly under the thin skin. "Please, Brendon. Please. _Please_." Spencer's voice cracks on the last word and he keeps babbling the word over and over and Brendon's not even sure he knows what he's saying anymore.

"Okay," Brendon says, taking pity on him. "Come for me."

Spencer tightens his hand on his cock, pumps his fist a few more times, and comes messily over his fist and stomach.

Brendon watches Spencer shake through it, can't look away until Spencer finally opens his eyes and says, "I take it back. You're pretty good at that."

Brendon laughs, but it comes out high and hysterical. Spencer sits up and puts out his hand to reach for Brendon, but Brendon jumps up, clambering off the couch and backing slowly across the room to the door.

"If you touch me I'm going to come in my pants," Brendon says tightly.

Spencer sighs, a frustrated sound trapped at the back of his throat. "When this is over, I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk."

Brendon whimpers and runs for the bathroom and a really cold shower.

 

Over the next three days Brendon gets two calls from Gabe, four calls from William, and one very reluctant call from Victoria all offering sexual favors.

"What the fuck?" Brendon asks.

Victoria sighs and says, "Yeah, I don't know. When you didn't take Gabe up on his offer, he figured you'd go for William, and when you didn't go for William, he figured you must not swing that way, despite his earlier assumptions."

"I swing that way," Brendon says, and yeah. He's still really confused.

"Well, yes. I know that. But it's Gabe," Victoria says, like that should explain everything, and it kind of does.

"Tell Gabe he better get comfortable with the idea of losing his money, because I'm not giving in to his sexual advances, and if that doesn't work, tell him if he doesn't quit hitting on me I'm telling Spencer," Brendon says.

Victoria laughs and says, "I'll give him the message."

Five minutes later Gabe sends a text that says, _D:_

Brendon chuckles at his phone, and Spencer looks up from across the room and says, "What?"

Brendon says, "Oh, nothing."

Spencer cocks his eyebrow in question, and Brendon laughs again and says, "You know what? You should call Gabe. I think he misses you."

Spencer gives Brendon a weird look, and Brendon laughs harder.

 

Somewhere around Salt Lake City, Brendon refuses to come out of his bunk.

Jon throws open the bunk curtain and says, "You're almost there! Only one week left. Come out and have some breakfast."

Brendon whimpers and rolls over giving Jon his back. "Leave me alone to die," Brendon wails.

"Oh hey," Jon says. "That's a good idea. We should watch Lilo and Stitch."

Brendon rolls back over and says, "Really? Can we?"

Jon laughs and sits next to Brendon on the bunk. "You're so easy," he says. "A little Disney and you're putty in my hands."

Brendon glares and says, "Don't tell Spencer, or you might lose your money."

Jon says, "Your secret is safe with me."

 

By the time they get to Vegas, Brendon thinks he might actually crawl out of his own skin. He has less than twelve hours left, and he and Spencer have been circling each other for days now. The only thing that's kept him from completely losing it is knowing that Spencer's right there on the edge with him. He's comforted by the fact that if he does go crazy, at least he won't be alone.

Spencer shows up at his apartment at four thirty and says, "Get dressed, we're going out."

"Out where?" Brendon asks. He's only got a pair of boxers on and he scratches at his stomach without thinking.

"Oh my god, stop that," Spencer says. "Put some fucking clothes on."

Brendon blinks a couple of times and then waves Spencer inside as he heads back to his bedroom to get dressed. "What should I wear?" Brendon shouts. He can hear Spencer rummaging around in the kitchen, and he figures there will probably be coffee when he's done getting dressed.

"I was thinking we could go see a movie," Spencer shouts back.

Brendon comes into the kitchen, still pulling his shirt over his head, and Spencer turns around and leans against the counter. "Anything you've been wanting to see?" he asks.

Brendon blushes a little, embarrassed even though he shouldn't be anymore. His band mates all know how completely lame he is already. "Kung Fu Panda looks kind of cool."

Spencer smiles and takes a few steps forward without thinking. Brendon can see the exact moment when he remembers he shouldn't touch Brendon, and Brendon watches the emotions flicker across Spencer's face, desire, disappointment, and then resignation. "I really want to kiss you," Spencer says intensely.

Brendon swallows and says, "Okay. Kissing is allowed," because it feels like it's been years instead of less than a month, and Brendon's as starved for it as Spencer seems.

Spencer doesn't need any more invitation than that. He rushes Brendon, pushes him against the refrigerator at Brendon's back, and licks his way into Brendon's mouth. Brendon puts his hands on Spencer's hips and keeps pressure there, trying to keep their hips from pressing together with too much force.

It turns out he doesn't need to worry, since they both jump apart when Shane walks in and says, "Don't you have another day left?" before he walks over and pours himself a cup of the coffee Spencer just made.

Spencer glares and says, "He has seven hours."

Brendon nods and says, "We weren't doing anything. We're going to a movie."

"Then to dinner," Spencer says.

Shane nods and smiles, looking between the two of them. "Aw, that's kind of cute. It's like a date."

Spencer flushes a little, and Brendon thinks, _Huh_ , because it is sort of like a date, and Brendon doesn't think they've ever actually done that. Sure, they've been out together a million times, sometimes with Jon and Ryan, and sometimes without, but they've never actually done dinner and a movie, at least not since they've been having sex.

Brendon feels suddenly protective of Spencer. Spencer is really weird about his romantic relationships. He's quiet and private, and he's not really into large public displays of affection. Brendon knows he's probably Spencer's worst nightmare in the boyfriend department, but Spencer tries really hard to give Brendon what he needs, and Brendon wants to do the same for Spencer.

"Shut the fuck up," he says to Shane, and his tone is light, teasing, but the look he sends Shane gets his point across. Shane quirks his eyebrow, but he doesn't make any more jokes. "We're going now," Brendon says, taking Spencer's hand.

Shane says, "Yeah, you two have fun."

 

They go to get more coffee first, since the movie they want to see doesn't start until 8:00.

"We could eat," Spencer says.

Brendon wrinkles his nose. "I'm not really hungry. I was thinking we could go to Roberto's after the movie and grab some tacos."

Spencer says, "Yeah, okay."

Brendon knows both of them are calculating the time in their heads. It's like an elephant sitting on the table between them, and Brendon figures one of them should get it out of the way. Since he's the one that sort of got them into this whole situation he figures it's only right for him to take the plunge. "The movie will probably get out around 10:00, and then it'll take a half hour to get over to Roberto's. I figure another half hour to forty five minutes to eat, and then a half hour to wherever we're going to get naked." Brendon looks at Spencer then and says, "Where _are_ we going to get naked, by the way?"

Spencer says, "I was thinking my place, but if we take too long at Roberto's, it might be in the car on the side of whatever road we're on when the clock strikes midnight."

Brendon's skin starts tingling. "I think we can make it to a bed," he says.

"We'll see," Spencer says darkly, and Brendon laughs.

 

They make it to Spencer's house by 11:45, and Brendon says, "I have time for a shower, right?"

Spencer groans, leans against the wall, and bangs his head a couple of times. Brendon takes that as a yes, and he makes his way toward Spencer's bedroom and locks himself in the bathroom. He showers quickly, and smiles as he washes his hair when he realizes he's going to smell like Spencer's shampoo.

By the time he gets out and towels his hair off, he's got less than five minutes by his watch. He wraps the towel around his waist and walks out into Spencer's bedroom. Spencer is sitting on the corner of the bed, still fully clothed. He pins Brendon with this look, like he's going to tear Brendon apart to see how he works and then fuck him back together again. Brendon's hands start to shake with anticipation.

"You know what's really frustrating?" Spencer asks rhetorically. "Sitting out here for ten minutes thinking about you wet and naked."

Brendon smiles and says, "Well, come here then."

Spencer gets up and Brendon takes two steps forward until they're standing in front of each other, then Brendon boosts himself up on his tip toes, wraps his fingers through the ends of Spencer's hair, and pulls him down for an open-mouthed kiss. Spencer' hands clutch at Brendon's damp back, and Brendon can feel Spencer's nails scraping along his skin. He imagines there will be red marks, if only for a little while, and he pulls Spencer's bottom lip into his mouth and bites down hard, shivers when Spencer's fingers tighten in response.

Spencer moves to Brendon's neck, his beard scratching and tickling along the way, and Brendon tips his head back to give Spencer better access. Spencer scrapes his teeth along Brendon's throat, over his Adam's apple, and Brendon moans, making his throat vibrate against Spencer's tongue.

Something is beeping annoyingly and Brendon steps back, blinking stupidly until Spencer brings his wrist up and presses the side of his watch. The beeping stops, and Spencer steps forward again and says, "It's midnight."

Brendon says, "You set your watch?"

Spencer shrugs and says, "Maybe."

Brendon smiles, reaches for his towel and drops it to the ground. "Oops," he says, a second before he follows the towel by dropping to his knees. Spencer closes his eyes and makes a noise Brendon's pretty sure dolphins would recognize. "I think I remember something about letting you fuck my mouth," Brendon says. He reaches up and starts undoing Spencer's belt buckle, and Spencer whimpers again and digs his fingers into Brendon's wet hair.

Neither one of them wastes any time. Brendon opens his mouth and sucks Spencer in, tilting his head back and opening his throat as best he can. Spencer thrusts experimentally with his eyes closed tight, and Brendon hums around Spencer's cock and swallows when the head hits the back of his throat.

"Jesus, fuck. You're really good at this," Spencer pants. "I think I forgot."

Brendon would nod or agree if he could move his head or speak, but Spencer's got a hold of him by his hair, and his mouth is full of cock, so he just hums again and sucks harder on the head of Spencer's dick when he pulls out, and concentrates on opening his throat and suppressing his gag reflex when he thrusts back in.

Spencer eventually lets loose of Brendon's hair with one hand so that he can wrap it around his cock. He's still got his other hand tangled in Brendon's hair and he uses it to pull Brendon's head back while he jerks his cock in quick but erratic strokes. Brendon just opens his mouth and flicks his tongue out past his bruised lips ever few seconds to lick at Spencer's slit, until Spencer says, "Fuck, fuck, _Brendon_ ," and comes with his bottom lip between his teeth.

Brendon sticks his tongue out to catch what he can, but some of it hits his chin and his cheek too. He actually wouldn't be surprised to find some of it in his hair later, but whatever, if the look on Spencer's face is anything to go by, it was all in the pursuit of a good time.

Spencer sinks to his knees slowly, Brendon's hair still held tight in the fingers of his right hand. He's still breathing hard, and his eyes are still closed, so it's Brendon that leans in first to start kissing again. Spencer slides his free hand to Brendon's neck shakily and opens his mouth for Brendon's tongue.

When they break apart for breath, Spencer's eyes are open. Brendon watches Spencer's eyes roam over his face and then Spencer groans and leans in and licks some of his come off Brendon's cheek.

"You're fucking amazing," Spencer says, and his voice is almost a whisper, raw and reverent, and it makes Brendon shake all over.

"You could prove that you mean that by showing a little reciprocation here," Brendon says, because _seriously_ , it's been a long time.

Spencer smiles, and Brendon gets a kind of funny feeling in his stomach until Spencer says, "Go get on the bed."

Brendon doesn't need to be told twice. He gets up off the floor, jumps on to Spencer's giant bed, and settles on his back. Spencer goes in the opposite direction, opening one of the drawers to his dresser. He pulls out two of the ties he uses for headbands and walks back over to where Brendon is sprawled out on the bed.

Spencer says, "Do you trust me?"

Brendon blinks and looks at the ties and says, "You want to tie me up?"

Spencer leans over and kisses Brendon's mouth lightly and says, "I want to tie you up. I want to kiss every inch of your body except your cock. I want to make you crazy until you're begging me to let you come and then when I finally do? When you're soft and sleepy? I want to fuck you until you can't see straight."

Brendon shivers and says, "I told you could do whatever you wanted to me."

Spencer kisses him again and says, "You did. But I won't if you don't want me to.

"I want you to," Brendon says.

Spencer takes one of Brendon's wrists in his hand and starts securing it to the bed. "And you won't come until I tell you to, right? You can do that for me?"

Brendon tilts his head back and Spencer stops tying his other wrist long enough to lean down, to linger over Brendon's mouth until their lips are swollen and pink. When they break apart Brendon says, "I can do anything I set my mind to."

 

Brendon's maybe rethinking those words when half an hour later, Spencer hasn't even moved past Brendon's nipples.

"Please," Brendon says, for what is possible the hundredth time. Spencer answers him by biting Brendon's right nipple playfully and then sucking it into his mouth, the flat of his tongue pushed against the sensitive flesh while he sucks. "Please, please," Brendon says again, and he pulls at the ties on his wrists a little as he struggles to thrust his hips up toward Spencer's.

Spencer looks up, and his eyes are warm but focused when he says, "You want me to untie you?"

Brendon shakes his head hard and says with a strangled voice, "No. Just _please_ , Spencer." Brendon's not even sure what he's asking for, but Spencer takes pity on him and crawls back up to his mouth. He kisses him sweet and soothing, licking inside his mouth and somehow distracting Brendon from the fact that his entire body is on fire. Brendon thinks it's almost like Spencer is eating his mouth, alternating between soft licks and sharp bites until Brendon doesn't know whether he wants to push closer or pull his mouth away. Before he can decide, Spencer moves away again and Brendon can actually feel tears springing up at the corners of his eyes when Spencer licks his nipple again. Spencer looks up and says, "If you want to stop you have to say stop, okay?" Brendon nods and Spencer goes back to teasing Brendon's nipples until Brendon is sure he really is going to cry.

The threat of tears move from frustration to relief when Spencer laves his tongue over the sensitive flesh once more and then moves to Brendon's ribs. He kisses along the skin there, over Brendon's bones, and then along the soft concave of Brendon's belly before he licks the sweat collecting around Brendon's belly button.

Brendon has to squeeze his eyes shut tight and think of really repulsive things to keep himself from coming when Spencer noses along the soft hair that trails from his belly button to his groin. "You smell really good," Spencer says against the skin of Brendon's hip. Brendon makes a noise that turns into a high pitched whimper when Spencer moves over and licks the head of Brendon's cock. He follows the lick with a cool burst of air and Brendon struggles up as far as his bound wrists will allow to see what's going on. Spencer's looking right at him and blowing, his lips pursed just inches from the head of Brendon's cock. He smiles when he sees Brendon looking back at him, and then he leans in and licks again before he pulls back and blows cool air over the head once more.

Brendon starts thrashing and begging again, which is apparently exactly what Spencer wants, because he leans forward and actually sucks the head into his mouth the next time before pulling off and blowing again.

"Fuck, Spencer," Brendon whimpers. "Please let me come. _Please_."

Spencer mouths at the inside of Brendon's thigh, and Brendon can swear he feels him smiling against the skin. "Wait, just wait for me," Spencer says quietly and Brendon can only try and take comfort in the fact that Spencer sounds as strung out as Brendon feels.

Spencer sits up then and crawls to the bedside table long enough to grab the bottle of lube and a condom. Brendon groans and thrusts his hips up instinctively, and Spencer presses a quick kiss to his mouth. "Be patient," Spencer says smirking.

"Forty days," Brendon says sharply.

Spencer laughs as he lubes up two fingers, and then uses his other hand to lift one of Brendon's legs up to press to his chest. Spencer goes quickly for once and thrusts both of his fingers in at the same time, and Brendon bucks his hips up before he bears down on the pressure. "Relax," Spencer says. He pulls both fingers out and picks up Brendon's other leg to hook them both over his shoulders before he moves back and presses his fingers in again. Brendon pushes back, trying to take them deeper, and then Spencer crooks them both upward so that Brendon is seeing tiny sparks of light behind his eyelids. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ," Brendon says.

Spencer leans forward, pressing Brendon's legs back with his shoulder, and he kisses Brendon once, a hard press of lips. It's awkward with Spencer's hand still between them working in and out of Brendon's body, but Brendon doesn't care. He presses up with his mouth and down with his body until he feels like a knot of rope all twisted and trussed up. Spencer sits up a little then, and reaches his free hand across them to free Brendon's right wrist from the head board. Spencer leans back and says, "I want you to come now."

Brendon moans and doesn't waste any time wrapping his hand around his cock. Spencer twists his fingers, works them in deeper and crooks them just right until Brendon thinks he might die from the pleasure of it all. He pumps his fist twice more and then comes messy over his fist and stomach.

Spencer keeps working his fingers through Brendon's orgasm until Brendon's hand finally falls away from his cock, limp and lifeless, and then Spencer pulls his fingers out. Brendon still has his knees hooked over Spencer's shoulders, and Spencer scoots forward a little, repositioning himself until he's as close as he can be without actually being inside of Brendon.

"You still with me?" Spencer says and his vocal cords sound like they've been burned. Brendon's actually pretty surprised he's able to decipher speech right now, let alone form words, so he just nods. "Good, because I promised you I was going to fuck you after you came, and you were so good about keeping your word that I want to keep mine," Spencer says.

Brendon shudders and he knows he's going to be sore tomorrow and that all of this might actually be too much so soon after an orgasm and holy fuck, he just doesn't care. Not even a little bit, so he says, "Yes, I want."

Spencer rolls on the condom he retrieved earlier, and Brendon pulls at the binding on his left arm a little in anticipation. Spencer reaches up and rubs at Brendon's wrist where the tie is still tied tight. "Does it hurt?" he asks.

Brendon blinks and shakes his head but he's still pulling on the tie. He uses his right hand to cling to Spencer's bicep and he says, "I want to touch you."

Brendon can feel the head of Spencer's cock barely pressing against his entrance and he wants to push against it almost as much as he wants his hand free to touch and grab. Spencer reaches out and pulls the tie loose and then he pushes forward, his cock sinking into Brendon's body at the same time his tongue works it's way into Brendon's mouth.

Every inch of Brendon's body feels like it belongs to someone else, and Brendon guesses it's true in a way since he's pretty much Spencer's for the taking. He moans into Spencer's mouth and digs his nails into Spencer's shoulders until he knows there will be marks there in the morning. They move together, Brendon practically folded in half and Spencer covering every inch of him until they're all twisted up in each other.

There's no way Brendon can come again so quickly, even after more than a month of abstinence, but he still wants it to be good for Spencer. He meets him thrust for thrust and kisses him wet and dirty. Spencer bites into Brendon's lip when he comes and it hurts without the rush from his own orgasm, but he just holds on and rides it out with Spencer until Spencer collapses on top of him in a boneless heap.

It takes a few minutes for Spencer's breathing to even out, but when it does he rolls them over until Brendon can breathe again without Spencer's weight pressing down on his lungs.

"You're heavy," Brendon murmurs.

"Mm," Spencer says brilliantly.

"So, we're never doing that again," Brendon says into Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer tenses a little and says, "Doing what?"

"Going that long without sex," Brendon says.

Spencer says, "Oh, I thought you meant... Yeah. Good."

Brendon laughs and says, "Oh, no. We're definitely doing _that_ again. Although, I think maybe a little roll reversal might be in your future since I already know for a fact you look good in those ties."

Spencer smiles, kisses Brendon lightly and says, "We'll see."


End file.
